Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Blogging Induced Anxiety

Hey Ladies,

So I have been so busy working on my YouTube channel that I have somewhat neglected my blog. Before I was a "Content Creator" and I use that term very loosely I used to get so peeved when someone would spend all of their time on one platform and neglect the others and this is what I have done. I have been on somewhat of a roll with my channel being really productive and posting every other day that I haven't been dividing my time as evenly. I promise that next week I will divide my time more wisely. I have also broken my phone so I haven't been as active on Snapchat or Instagram as they aren't as easily accessible without a phone. Facebook on the other hand I have been spending a lot of time on so if you want to keep up with me more then head on over to FB and follow me!

Anyways, today I wanted to do a more personal post. Since I haven't had a phone I haven't been as active or engaged with other bloggers or youtubers social media pages. And by that I mean I haven't viewed their posts, tweets and snapchats and I find it SO refreshing. Don't get me wrong I LOVE having a nosey into someones daily life or reading their posts about the latest products or catching up on tutorials but I think I was too invested that I was making myself feel like....shit to put it bluntly. I was finding myself constantly comparing myself to others and letting it get to me. Instead since I have had an iPhone detox I have felt SO much better. I feel more productive and excited to create videos, posts etc. I think sometimes in life you need to not only take one step back but two and that way you can see yourself more clearly.

I constantly found myself thinking about subscribers, followers and the likes (as in Facebook). Wondering why I never had as many as other people and what made them better than me or what was wrong with me or my posts and videos that didn't attract people. It got to one point that I had convinced myself that other bloggers have a vendetta against me...I know crazy right? I just felt like everyone was so supportive of each other and I was the odd man out and I of course jumped to stupid made up conclusions. With anxiety you only have to think a bad thought once and it grows and grows to become something ridiculous that you could spend hours obsession over, zero craic.

And then the epiphany came to me when I was at a blogging event (the irony) where I met the loveliest girl who also blogs. And the epiphany was that I actually DON'T CARE about the subscriber numbers, the likes or the follows. I started my blog way back when I was looking for a hobby and some inspiration in an over polluted classroom of makeup artists, it was something that I enjoyed doing. I am well aware I haven't the first notion on punctuation or grammar which means my posts are probably thrown together and all over the place. I am not the best makeup artist in the world or the best video editor but hey who's perfect? I enjoy it! So, I am going to continue plodding along making my videos, writing up my posts and doing my thang and try remain stress free.

I am suffering from so much anxiety at the moment that this is the one thing that I didn't want to get me down anymore, I'm trying to fight one battle at a time. So if you're following me on any of my platforms, thank you and I really mean that!
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